After the absolute fucking debacle of our flight into the Philippines, we finally arrived in the tiny island of Coron ready to board our ship to El Nido.
Our vessel for the next four days was a small, rickety wooden ship, which to be honest looked like it could be finished off with a decent gust of wind. However, given that the hapless crew at Philippine Airlines required two attempts to successfully locate one of the 7,107 islands in the Philippines to land on during our last journey, it was still comfortably the most appealing mode of onward transport.
“Let’s all go out to that new Filipino restaurant”….said no-one ever.
Being an Englishman, I have had my fair share of atrocious food in my time; however no amount of previous experience could prepare me for my first stone cold, gut-insulting foray into Filipino cuisine…
It’s been a month now since I emerged from my Koh Tao Scuba Diving School as a shadow of my former self, so I should probably wrap up our time in Thailand so that the regular readers of the blog (if any) can move from the edge of their seats.
The length of time between posts had nothing to do with my damaged ears; to be honest it’s so loud back home that a bit of barotrauma will probably be the best thing for them. No, the main reason for the delay is that now I am back in Australia, I am reunited with the country’s infamous internet speed (or lack thereof), which was recently ranked 56th best in the world, below such technological powerhouses as Estonia, Panama and Belarus.
It’s fair to say that my body is not naturally suited to Scuba Diving. I could probably get sea sick in the bath. My eyesight is so bad that I’m virtually blind without contact lenses; my enormous nose can hold about two litres of water, and I have about thirty fillings in my teeth which probably wouldn’t enjoy the pressure of being eighteen metres underwater. Added to this, my general lack of orientation and direction skills are probably bordering on a medical disability.
It was going to be an interesting four days in Koh Tao….